You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We need to get me chipped asap
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
