I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
