3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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