doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It's never too late to be topless.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
