Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
