sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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