I hate all girls vehemently.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
