Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
