Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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