my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
