ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
