Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
