So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
