stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
