In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
one might say we're banned from that church
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
