So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize