is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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