Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My penis needs a shock collar
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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