I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
