My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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