so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
