two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
