a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
