im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
