No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
