I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
