just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
sex in a hospital.. check
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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