you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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