yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
