he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
