haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
