dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
