What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
