she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
