I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
