how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your penis caused this!
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