I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
