I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
