And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
