Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
