thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
