Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
