I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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