I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
