i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
