Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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