OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
