is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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