When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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