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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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