I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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