I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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