Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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