No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
