Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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