i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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