He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
