There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
