i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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