I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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