he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
